I have always being a victim of posses-ism.When I was in school I had possessive friends around me, when I moved to college, again, had possessive friends and when i moved to other part,the religious part of my life, again I could find super possessive friends.
I was never possessive. In fact I hated posses-ism.But now I guess even I have grown this trait. I was wondering what makes us possessive,it is the fear to loose the person or something else?I don't know.
Every person has a right to live the life as per his wish,No body can direct him,this was my answer to my possessors.They got hurt,some even cried, though I knew they did everything for me and would do anything for me.
Then why I'm having this feeling now?Is its because I never cared about the feelings of my possessors,and this is result of that?
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Split personality
per Wikipedia:
Dissociative identity disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis and describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment.
I guess I am also suffering from Split personality disorder.When I am at Office,I am different.
When I am at Home,I am Different. When I am with friends,I am different & When I am with other friends I am different.And every time totally different. Am I faking to myself or to the world?
I change so many faces every now and then.Is it only me or other people also experience this? Sometime I understand the amanat I have and sometime I totally forget that I'm a human. One moment I am with friends in Imama & Jhubba and other moment roaming with my friend in T-Shirt & Jeans.
I am tired of these changing faces & personalities.Why cant I stick to one,my true self?I Finally want to stick one face,my true face.I know its difficult,very difficult but I have to do it now.
The night of Shab-e-Bara'at is approaching fast.Book of deeds of previous years will be closed and new book will be opened and fate for next one year will be written. When I think of Book of deed which is going to be closed I become happy seeing that,I graduated as Faazil, got authorization of Silsila-e-Qadiriya,Got permission to write fatawas,started worlds first pure Sunni academy and started teaching Aalim course, but at same time when I look at some of other deeds,which i never even dreamt of ,happened,I feel sad & ashamed.May ALLAH azzawajal forgive all my previous sins and convert them into rewards and bless me with life in next year as per his & his Rasool's wish:Aameen.
Gande Nikamme Kameen,Manhge ho Kodi Ke Teen
Kaun Hamen Paalta,Tumpe Karoron Darood (Imam Ahmad Raza Khan Fazil-e-Barelvi)
Dissociative identity disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis and describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment.
I guess I am also suffering from Split personality disorder.When I am at Office,I am different.
When I am at Home,I am Different. When I am with friends,I am different & When I am with other friends I am different.And every time totally different. Am I faking to myself or to the world?
I change so many faces every now and then.Is it only me or other people also experience this? Sometime I understand the amanat I have and sometime I totally forget that I'm a human. One moment I am with friends in Imama & Jhubba and other moment roaming with my friend in T-Shirt & Jeans.
I am tired of these changing faces & personalities.Why cant I stick to one,my true self?I Finally want to stick one face,my true face.I know its difficult,very difficult but I have to do it now.
The night of Shab-e-Bara'at is approaching fast.Book of deeds of previous years will be closed and new book will be opened and fate for next one year will be written. When I think of Book of deed which is going to be closed I become happy seeing that,I graduated as Faazil, got authorization of Silsila-e-Qadiriya,Got permission to write fatawas,started worlds first pure Sunni academy and started teaching Aalim course, but at same time when I look at some of other deeds,which i never even dreamt of ,happened,I feel sad & ashamed.May ALLAH azzawajal forgive all my previous sins and convert them into rewards and bless me with life in next year as per his & his Rasool's wish:Aameen.
Gande Nikamme Kameen,Manhge ho Kodi Ke Teen
Kaun Hamen Paalta,Tumpe Karoron Darood (Imam Ahmad Raza Khan Fazil-e-Barelvi)
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